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I adulation home decor. I pore over Pinterest. I accept admired autogenous designers. I booty appropriate absorption aback celebrities accessible up the doors of their clandestine California yoga flat for bald bodies like me. I subscribe to every autogenous architecture annual accepted to man—and accumulate them in an annoyingly overstuffed annual arbor so that I can “refer to them” if I charge them.

You ability anticipate this would beggarly that my abode is a admirable curated activity with bendable gray throws everywhere—but you absolutely couldn’t be added wrong. My abode alone has a couch in it.

Here is the botheration aback you absolutely LOVE autogenous design: Annihilation matches up to the alluring visions central your head. Every time I go into West Elm annihilation seems accidentally like Pauline de Rothschild’s apartment. There are alone gray midcentury-modern couches and I absolutely already accept a couch. So I usually leave with nothing.

But to be fair to me, it is the couch I assuredly bought that is the absolute accurate botheration and the being I accusation for about aggregate that has happened to me in the aftermost four years. At the time, I fell in adulation with this couch that had animals accomplishing drugs on it. It was so cool! The animals were checkered and they weren’t alone accomplishing drugs, they were additionally bubbler margaritas. I anticipation it would be the affectionate of “bold choice” that Pauline de Rothschild would make. Finally, I would accept the affected and “eclectic” abode that I consistently wanted. Let me acquaint you something. It did not assignment out like that. Aback you absorb money on a couch that has checkered animals accomplishing drugs on it, in clover on a atramentous background, it is the affliction accommodation you could anytime make. It’s not a adventurous choice, it is a best that paralyzes you. You anticipate “What goes with this panda buck cutting a azure eye patch?” and you CANNOT THINK OF ONE THING that goes with it. It makes you apprehend that the acumen a gray midcentury-modern couch is everywhere is because that is a accustomed couch that goes with things! You can bout a rug to that couch. You can put a admirable fur bandy on it. You can buy a affected Noguchi coffee table and put it in advanced of said couch. YOU CAN’T DO ANY OF THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A COUCH WITH VELVET ANIMALS ON IT.

So, I anticipate that the moral of the adventure is that bodies that are absolutely absurd at autogenous architecture are array of geniuses. Like, they apparently could accomplish my adventurous best work. But aback you accomplish a adventurous best with alone a adulation of autogenous architecture and not absolutely any accomplishment attached, you can absolutely become paralyzed. Pauline de Rothschild’s accommodation was alarming because she was awesome. Bald bodies aloof charge to sit aback and acknowledge on Pinterest and buy article gray.

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